Last week, I was at an Indian ceremony when a acquaintance exclaimed, “OMG, you’ve grown fat!

*blink*

And without knowing how to respond, I tittered (yes, that awkward laugh when you don’t know how exactly to respond). 

She wouldn’t let it go, and added, “You run and do so many things and yet you are fat.”

I was shocked.

What … the … what … 

After my first reaction of shock wore down, a wave of sadness and resignation washed over.

She wasn’t saying any untruths.

I HAD grown fat with 10-15 extra pounds since last September and Augusta 70.3, and even since London Marathon in April. And who am I kidding? I was fat even as I was training for the race, so this is just me. FAT.

April of this year (left) and Now (right)
April of this year (left) and Now (right)

It was all I could do to keep a straight face and not start crying buckets. It got to my very core. 

After a long time of beating myself up and stomping all over on my self worth, I started getting angry.

How incredibly rude! How could someone make a remark like that! WTF did she mean by telling a stranger/acquaintance was growing fat, someone you see once a month at the most, less in our case (a large part of it is the familiarity one assumes in my Indian culture)!

How Rude

And then after the shock, the sadness and the anger had run its course, the only reaction I had left said

eFF it !! 

I’d just run 5 easy miles earlier in the morning and damned if my fat body didn’t do that. 

I can run with this body (and bike and swim and lift).

Screen Shot 2016-08-27 at 11.37.23 AM
I ran when I was 175, I still ran when I was 145.

I can run with my KIDS with this body, giving us something special to do together. And I can get some alone time with my husband where we both have each other’s undivided attention!

Running with Kids

I can chase dreams with this body and I can make it happen.

Ironman 70.3 Augusta Race Report
Finishing something that I never thought I could do, in a far-better-than-expected time.
Stonehenge
Three of my favorites – Augusta 70.3 sweatshirt in Stonehenge after the London Marathon, wearing a Chicago Marathon (my first 26.2) TShirt inside.

So yes, I AM fat.

My 155-165lbs scale says so.
My size 10 clothes says so.
My body composition test says so.

Would I like to lose a few pounds? Of course I would! 

But so what?

This BODY (not fat, not skinny, not short, not tall, not brown, not white/black, not any other physical attributes you can give a body), this body has done so many incredible things that it never thought possible. This body can do what it’s mind and heart wants it to do. 

So, other than the fact that the extra weight slows me down in running and cycling, I don’t care that I’m fat. I don’t care that someone thought that I’m fat even though I run and do other activities.

Fat never stopped me from doing things that I love and never will.

And now … this fat body is off to run with her 10yo as a shakeout run for the minion’s triathlon tomorrow.

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Faux Runner

Smitha Barki, The "FauxRunner", is a runner, triathlete, vegetarian, User Experience Professional and a mom of 2 little minions. Slow and steady, she is passionate about her fitness journey and eager to share it and help others Redefine their Impossible.
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Yes, I’m Fat. And I don’t care.
  • Girl you go. My body type is different, but I even feel sometimes insecure and that I should be skinnier because I run so much. Alas I know I like to eat, but I’m hungry haha. I’m strong and this legs and this body have accomplished so much and taken me so many miles. I just can’t believe the things people think are okay to say to someone sometimes!

    http://www.breathedeeplyandsmile.com

  • Chaitali Shah

    Ugh, so rude! I dread going to India for months before I go because I know I’ll hear comments on my body, it’s like they just can’t help themselves. But your body does amazing things and you should absolutely celebrate it!

  • LR McIvor

    Omgosh – so glad a friend shared your blog! Love this and love finding another vegetarian runner who doesn’t necessarily have the body society wants us to have. I’m working my way back to a healthier weight (not sure I’ll ever be thin again!), but I’ll take my fat body that can complete a marathon over the thin one that couldn’t run around the block! And Soarkle On, Sparkle Sister – I ran my marathon in Peacock Bordeaux 😊

  • Bain

    Preach it! By the way, I notice that people frequently comment on women’s bodies in all directions (“you look great! Have you lost weight?”) but when’s the last time you heard someone talk to a man that way? Yeah, I thought so!

  • Noelle

    It’s not even rude, it’s just plain mean! While I still have moments of insecurity, running and fitness have given me a new appreciation for my body that I never had when I lived a more sedentary life. I cherish the moments when I feel like a gazelle when I run, even though I might look a little more like a goat 😉