Struggling to find a balance

Yesterday was Krishna Janmashtami. The birthday of Lord Krishna. One of my favorite festivals with lots of childhood memories.

The day before was my sweet 16 (miles). My first.

The 16 miles left with me a great runners high on Saturday. But I was also in the lows Saturday night and Sunday morning. Not much energy to get anything done, but also a calendar full of birthday parties for the kids!
In the midst of all this, I skimmed over the festival. All the while feeling enormously guilty. This is the third festival I’ve missed this season (I’m Hindu and we have festivals all around the clock) because I’ve been away on Saturday mornings and dead to the world on Saturday afternoons. 
For the first time EVER, I am resentful of my obsession with my training. The time I put into it. The effort I put into it. The energy that I put into it. 
Perhaps, I’m just overwhelmed with everything happing around me. Perhaps, its the fatigue speaking. Perhaps, its the 3 extra pounds I’ve put on that’s speaking. I’m so lucky to have my husband and kids support me, so maybe its something else deeper.
Luckily for me, my obsession is stronger than my resentment. The miles are on. I get ONE shot at my first marathon. I’ll figure out this balance I’m striving for after October 9th.
Onward Chicago!

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